i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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