Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
