Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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