She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize