Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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