the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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