omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just found a bag of teeth...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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