Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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