Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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