how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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