the day after is always just damage control
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
