dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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