addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
