You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
