Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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