i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
