I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
