i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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