my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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