She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I AM VODKA MAN
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
