We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
