were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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