dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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