I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
