He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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