Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Randomize