Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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