Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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