did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize