Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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