Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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