i barfeds in our rink
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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