That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
