You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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