Kiss
Puke
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
