I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
