She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
