When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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