No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
