just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
