Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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