You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
