They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
