I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Don't EVER smell your tampon
cat food counts as protein by the way
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
