She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
