why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
