the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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