She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
