its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
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Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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