Sponge bath it is.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
