I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like