Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize