I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.