Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
