all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize