OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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