My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
