Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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