Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
