so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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