the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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