Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
