So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
