I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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