I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I AM VODKA MAN
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
