dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
look no pants
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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